A Life of Many Blessings

Wardrobe Change...or is it Life Change?

2010-02-24T11:36:00.000-06:00

So something new has been occurring recently in our home with Laineybug. Shortly before she turned three a few days ago she began starting this thing where, A- she only wants to wear a dress (even though it's freezing here most days), and B- she want's to change dresses every two hours throughout the day! You can imagine what my laundry room has looked like lately. It sure made birthday shopping easy this year, dresses of course made up the majority of her gifts, one's with sweater's at that to try and prevent her from freezing her arms off!

I have to admit that it does get frustrating, and I have tried to get her to stop this annoying little habit. But, I know that this too will pass and I'll soon be looking back and missing these days. In the midst of helping her with her fourth wardrobe change of the day earlier this week, I started to think about something deeper. I thought about how easy it is for my daughter to drop everything and change in and instant, carefree, making sure that each day she wears every dress she wants to wear. It made me envious in a way, not about actually changing clothes over and over, because yes I could do that if I really wanted to, but changing to ensure you are the person you want to be. Or changing day to day to live the part of your life you want to live.

I think we would all admit that we have things in life we would love to live out, but do not want to make the change to make it possible. Someone once told me "I think that everyone lives four or five different lives." I now have a deeper understanding of what they meant and my own thoughts on it as well. Is that we are just to afraid to change into the one person we want to be, so we live different lives around different people? Is it the fear we have of the way some will look at us if they know how we live one side of our life, so we only live another side of our life around them? Maybe it's that we are so wrapped in our self, that we fail to see that the ones closest to us are living separate lives without us, but yet do not want to make the change to fix it once we do realize it.

In any case, I will try to be more open to change. It's something that I have been struggling with lately, but that's a whole 'nother post! In the meantime, I will indulge my sweet daughter's obsession with changing dresses more times a day than I count. And I will also need to buy more laundry detergent to wash them all!

Flawless.....Not so Much!

2010-02-22T08:16:00.000-06:00

I'm the first to admit that I am a big Beyonce fan. I think she is beautiful in every sense of the word- vocally, in physical appearance, and in personality. I love her voice, the sound of her singing Halo, live, will stop me in my tracks. In the past I have had words of her music sprawled across my Facebook page, playing on my Myspace page, and yes indeed, Halo is one of my favorite ring tone's on my iphone. But I've discovered that there are some lesser known songs by Beyonce out there that grab a hold of me and put me a place that few others do. Like the song that Ellen said was her very favorite when Beyonce was on her show. It one that I had never heard of before for some reason until that day, and she sang it live on Ellen's show. The song titled Flaws and All. "I don't know why you love me, and that's why I love you, you catch me when I fall, you accept me, flaws and all..." Now at the time, all I did was sit listen to the beautiful sound emitting from the t.v. But as I thought about the song over the next few weeks, and looked up the words, as I often do for ~~way too many songs~~ every song I hear that I like, the words began to cycle through my head.

Perfect is something that I am far from, never have claimed to be, never will. In fact, I am hugely flawed and imperfect. Most of the time I accept my flaw's and move on, after all, I was created flawed in His image, and those flaw's are a part of what makes me "me." But sometimes I really start to look at my flaw's and question them. Are they just flaw's or are they my flaw's for a reason? Are my flaw's there to show me the change I need to make within myself, or to try and drive me closer to someone that I should be? Are the purpose of my flaw's to mold me into the person I'm meant to be, should I not fight my flaw's so much, but rather succumb to them once in awhile? Or perhaps are my flaw's meant to open my eyes to the person I'm capable of becoming, but don't want to become, because maybe that person is not the best person to be.

I struggle with some flaws more than other ones, maybe due to the way a particular flaw makes me feel about myself, or maybe for fear of the way others would view me if they truly knew all of my flaw's. Let's be honest, most people don't really like to be very open about the flaw's they possess. After all, as beautiful as Beyonce's song is, it is a rare thing for someone to love and accept us flaw's and all. So as I try to come to terms with, and accept my flaw's for what they are, I've stopped trying to wish and pray some of them away, for perhaps those flaw's are in me for a reason that I am not meant to understand. And yes even the one's that I bury deep down in shame, after all I am what I am, flaw's and all.

Fearless...Someday

2009-12-30T14:57:00.000-06:00

Taylor Swift, boy can she sing...and write a song that will tug at your every heart string!!! She is one of my favorite singers, actually, the words in her songs are some of my favorite. I ~~really~~ ~~like~~ love songs, I can usually take a song and relate it's words to my own life or feelings, as I'm sure so many others can. But there are some singers that put out entire CD's that can instantly bring me to tears, or elation, with their words, because I can relate so closely to what they are singing, Taylor is one of those singers, Colbie Caillat is another, but I won't go there for fear that I'll never stop!

One of the first things I do when I buy a new CD is immediately pull out the coverlet and go through the words of each song. At the very back of Taylor's Fearless CD I found this, where she explains what being fearless means to her-

"Fearless is not the absence of fear. It's not being completely unafraid. To me, Fearless is having fears. Fearless is having doubts. Lots of them. To me, Fearless is living in spite of those things that scare you to death. Fearless is falling madly in love again, even though you've been hurt before. Fearless is walking into your freshman year of high school at fifteen. Fearless is getting back up and fighting for what you want over and over again...even though every time you've tried before, you've lost. It's Fearless to have faith that someday things will change. Fearless is having the courage to say goodbye to someone who only hurts you, even if you can't breathe without them. I think it's Fearless to fall for your best friend, even though he's in love with someone else. And when someone apologizes to you enough times for things they'll never stop doing, it's Fearless to stop believing them. It's Fearless to say "you're NOT sorry", and to walk away. I think loving someone despite what people think is Fearless. I think allowing yourself to cry on the bathroom floor is Fearless. Letting go is Fearless. Then, moving on and being alright...That's Fearless too. But no matter what love throws at you, you have to believe in it. You have to believe in love stories and prince charming's and happily ever after!!! Love is Fearless." Taylor Swift

Wow, that spoke volumes to me when I first read it! From someone so much younger to me, to have already figured all that out!!! I am far from being fearless, this I know, but I recently told one of my very best friends that it's fearless to believe that someday you WILL be fearless!!! There are a few things in Taylor's fearless story that I should do right now, but simply don't yet have the courage to do...I hope that someday I too will be fearless! I'm sure many have already heard about or read Taylor's fearless story, but I wanted to share it anyway since it's so touching and maybe it will inspire you to be fearless today!

New Year's Reso....What?

2009-12-29T15:45:00.002-06:00

Oh, New Years Resolutions, yeah, I don't think I'll be making any of those this year! After all, I never seem to make it trough the whole year sticking to them anyway. I'll think instead, I'll just remain in close prayerful contact with my Father, and lean on Him to help me through the New Year!

If I were to make some resolutions, which I'm not, I imagine they would be things such as, I will go to the gym at least 4 times each week, or, I will really make it through my 365 Day Bible in 365 days this year! Maybe even something like, I will not spend time focusing on things that I have no control over, or let people hurt me when they plainly don't care enough to not hurt me. ~~Something along the lines of, I will not loose my patients and get snippy with my children when they ask me over and over again the same thing in the same fifteen minute time span~~! Never mind, I'm always patient at all times, ahem, anyway, lets move on! After all, the only one that would realistically maybe happen ALL year, might be the gym one, but who's counting!

Whatever my resolutions may have been, you know, if I were to make them, they are already covered. I know that all I need to do is lean on God and be prayerful in all I do, and He will ensure all of my needs are met, that as long as I put time aside for Him each day, then He will ensure time for everything else, that through Him, I can change into the person He intends for me to be! So if I were to make just 1 resolution, I would say it would have to be that I resolve to spend this next year striving to be to woman that God fully intends for me to be! I hope that God richly blesses you in 2010, all your prayers are answered, and the unanswered ones...well, I've learned sometimes God knows what He's doing with those too Unanswered Prayers!

Not Me! Monday!!!

2009-12-28T10:15:00.000-06:00

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week. After all, who couldn't use the chance at a last minute end of the year honesty session without being judged for it!!!

This week I in no way waited in line at Wal-Mart for 20 minutes to check out on Christmas Eve, with only 5 items in my arms, simply because I failed to take a list to the store with me earlier in the week, and then failed to return to said store before the mass Christmas Eve crowds hit! No way, I 'm way to prepared for that sort of thing!!!

I most certainly did not go to the mall one day last week and return with my own Christmas gift, to ensure I would get exactly what I wanted, even though I was given specific instructions by my husband "do not buy your own gift!" I would never do such a thing as save my husband the joy of fighting the Christmas crowds to spend hours searching for the perfect gift in an overcrowded mall!

You will not find my Christmas cards still sitting in my car waiting on stamps, because I would never let something so small as moving across the country right before the holidays, or you know, a week at Disney World, get in the way of something so important as our family Christmas cards! Good thing I made them Happy New Year's, we've moved cards this year!!! (Guess I should head to the post office as soon as this post is up)

Last week I in no way was bribing sweet Laineybug with chocolate to encourage her to use the potty! I would never bribe my children, nope, never, not me!

Wordless Wednesday...Sort Of

2009-08-12T11:52:00.000-05:00

Where do you find your joy...

Unanswered Prayers...

2009-08-11T10:00:00.001-05:00

While I'm usually fairly good about not questioning the why's of things, okay, who am I kidding, I'm really bad about it...but I'm trying to get better (still working on that whole contentment thing!) I AM good at knowing that in ~~due time~~ God's time, all the why's become more than clear! Even all those unanswered prayers...or what we maybe just thought were unanswered prayers!

Awhile back I did a Not Me Monday, one of my favorite blogs to do by the way, just in case you were wondering...you weren't, oh sorry, well now you know! Anyway, it was this about God answering a prayer that I've been praying for years, and me being in denial about Him answering it simply because it wasn't in the exact manner I had been requesting! Imagine that, that He would do things His way rather than mine! Well, shortly after that post it became very clear, that that specific prayer was to still remain unanswered!

Now at the time, I met this with great frustration, as I had no understanding why it was to be this way. I try most times really hard to let most things go, and know that it's allready laid out for me, and no amount of worry I do, will change the course of any of it. But being human, and created to a fault, I can't help but question it sometimes. And question it, I did! Have I recieved answers, not really. Am I okay with that? Right now, yes. I've realized that as hard as is to not have this prayer answered, maybe I don't really want it answered! Of course someone else allready knows that, and maybe that's why for years, this certain prayer has remained unanswered.

As I write this I truly have no idea why this prayer is to remain unanswered but I know that for today I'm gratefull it isn't. I also know that someday it will become very apparent why it was never to be answered, someday maybe a month from now, it maybe five or ten years from now, all I can do is be patient and wait! And being patient is something I'm so very good at (insert large amounts of sarcasm here!!!) One thing I'm sure of is that I'm thankfull for both answered and unanswered prayers...

Not Me Monday!

2009-08-10T11:06:00.001-05:00

Are you feeling guilty for feeding your children cereal for dinner three nights in a row last week? Hanging your head in shame because you had to re-wash the same load of laundry four times because you left in the washer too long? Don't worry, Not Me Monday is your chance to let it out and get it off your chest, with no judgement! Started by MckMama, you can head here to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week. As for me well...

I was not recently seen acting in this manner...

as if I was ~~re-living my college days or something~~ wishing I had acted this way in college, ahem! Most certaintly not me in a million years!

While my husband and three of our children were out of town, I in no way took full advantage of the situation and did not cook dinner for Laineybug and myself one time! At least not on the stove. Afterall, that may make me a bit lazy, so of course I still prepared homecooked meals for my precious daughter every night, and not once went out to eat!

Upon entering the living room and seeing this scene...

I in no way just left her to nap there, because I thought it was one of the cutest things I had seen in a long time!

I in no way spent part of my weekend doing something that I've been waiting for, for a very long time, and I certainly did not enjoy every moment of it! Because I don't believe that good things come to those that wait!

I most certainly did not publish this post soooo fast that there is probably a million errors in it...sorry!!! A good blogger, would never do such things!

So what about you, what have you not been doing lately? I and the rest of the bloggers at MckMama's would love to hear all about it, and believe me, it's very theraputic! Won't you give it a try, and join us?

Goodbye's Got Me Down

2009-07-28T20:57:00.003-05:00

Ugh...I'm usually a pretty upbeat person, but today, I just feel, ugh! Know what I mean? The goodbye's have got me down! As a military wife you have more than your fair share of goodbye's, but they never really get any easier! With each new duty station that you relocate to comes new adventures, new places, new experiences, and new friends! But, that also means there comes a time when you have to leave all that behind and say goodbye.

We've been at our current location for six years, so you can imagine we've grown quite close to some of our friends here! Today I had to say goodbye to one of my very best friends that I've ever had (she to is a military wife, and it was her family's time to move on). As I stood in my front yard embracing her one last time, both of our eyes filled with tears, my head swirlled with all of the years of wonderfull memories that we will forever have stored in our hearts! And as hard as it is to have to say goodbye, I do realize how very blessed I am to have the chance to meet such wonderful people and make such amazing friends every few years! Although, the friends I've had to say goodbye to can never be replaced, there is some comfort in knowing that new friends are not far behind for us both.

So as much as I hate goodbye's, and as much as I tried to prepare myself for today, it really has been an emotional day that I've seen coming for months now, I've have just tried not to think about it! And to add to the ugh factor, tomorrow I have to say goodbye to my husband, as duty calls him elsewhere for awhile...so, ugh is right! Such is the life of a military wife, but you know what? I still wouldn't change it for the world!

Not My Child Monday!

2009-07-20T12:20:00.001-05:00

Welcome to Not ~~Me!~~ My Child! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what her and everyone else's children have not been doing.

My darling son most certainly did not sleep walk into my kitchen and open my new fridge, pull his pants down and pee right into it! No way, because that would be an un-speakable act!

I have in no way had to drag my daughter out of Target kicking and screaming, more times than I can count, because all she wants to do is stand in the shoe department and try on high heels! Afterall, my child does not have a princess compex, no way, no how!!!

It is not my sweet daughter that actually likes to go around the back yard with a shovel and bucket and pick up doggie poo! Because surely she listens when her mother tells her that it's not a princess thing to do, and she should let the boys do it!

Two of my son's did not spend hours in the back yard this past Saturday night practicing "fake farts" with some fake fart makers they just acquired, and thought it was THE greatest thing in the world!

I did not in any way have to talk to my son about hitting a classmate in the privates on the playground, just because someone else did it, because I asure you, we have raised our children to be leaders, not followers...or so we thought!

When I walked into the kitchen and found my daughter not sucking on a bottle of chocolate syrup, she did not look at me at say "what, I didn't do anything?" How do you not laugh at that?

One of our older boys did not show us this weekend that he can burp his A, B, C's, and when he didn't do that, we just could not contain how very proud of him we are! Wow, I'm so impressed at what four years of school has gotten us so far!

Not Me Monday!

2009-07-13T08:51:00.000-05:00

That's right folks, it's that time again, Not Me! Monday. Who doesn't love the opportunity to admit some imperfection's or let go of some guilt, without judgement! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

This week I was not so wrapped up in editing photos that I let my children eat way too many snacks 'till way too past lunch time, before stopping to actually feed them lunch. I would never do such a thing, feeding my children comes first before everything else!

There is no way I let the tops of my feet get sunburned at the beach! Because afterall, I know so much better than that, I know that I hate that worse than anything else, and I always apply and re-apply sunscreen to my feet! I would never let such a thing happen!

I surely have not left a picture hanging crooked in my stairwell because, well, simply because, I haven't fixed it, maybe by next Monday, it will be straight again! I walk by that picture many times a day, and of course would take 2 seconds to stop and straighten it!

This week when my husband made a small joke about having another baby, I most certainly did not freak out on him! I naturally took it for the joke that it was, and laughed it off as any sane person would do... did not over react like the crazy mother of four would do! (Thank's Dr. W for that fab tubal ;-)

Scrumptious Saturday Supper

2009-07-12T13:44:00.000-05:00

So being the foodie that I am, I took pictures of our Saturday night meal and decided to share it with all of you fine people! First off are my homeade rolls, yes my friends, they are the coveted S. H. recipe! If you know what I'm talking about, then you know why they are picture worthy, they are to die for!

Here they are done rising.

And here they are HOT out of the oven!

And around here, we can't even wait to let them cool off before we ~~pull~~ rip them out of the pan, slap some butter on them and shove them in our mouths...that's how good they are!

There was also fresh asparagus, one of my favorite veggies!

And then there were the grilled portabello mushrooms, mmmmm! Here they are before hitting the grill!

I chose to enjoy my scrumptious Saturday supper with an equally scrumptious Woodchuck draft (amber, of course, not pear, I only made THAT mistake once!). What's that, you've never had the pleasure of enjoying a Woodchuck draft? Oh my, you don't know whay you're missing! And now that I've re-lived this yummy meal, I'm going to go wipe the drool from my chin before it hits the keyboard! But don't be fooled, not every meal is like this around here, just every other meal ;-)!

So, what did you have for supper Saturday?

Wordless Wednesday...Water Edition

2009-07-08T08:28:00.005-05:00

Not Me Monday!

2009-07-06T12:26:00.000-05:00

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

This week I most certaintly did not start to punch harder during Body Combat when the instructor said "picture someone under you that you don't like" when we were doing downward punches. That would have been very un-lady like, and I would never do such a thing!

In an effort to cust cost's on laundry expenses, I surely didn't let Laineybug wear the same dress for two days in a row, that would be a very un-clean thing to do! And it was most certainly not to avoid the complete melt down that resulted from trying to put on a clean outfit!

I did not hang my head and ~~smile~~ grin from ear to ear at the sight of Laineybug putting her earings back on as soon as she emerged from the pool! She really melts my heart!!!

When my dear husband burried two of our children at the beach, I did not have the passing thought of leaving them that way for a few peaceful hours. Afterall, there would surely be something illegal about that, and I am a strict law abiding citizen! ( I think the oldest knew what I was thinking!)

When my car would not start in the Target parking lot on this HOT 4th of July Saturday morning, I definatley most certainly did not, nearly throw a hissy fit in the middle of the car dealership when they tried to tell me that the rental place was going to give me a compact car untill Tuesday! "You would like me to put my FOUR children where, and we're paying for this extra service to have a car comparable to what we drive daily why?" I was afterall nowhere near being in a horendous mood after sitting in the near hundred degree weather, seconds before a thunder storm rolled into the said Target parking lot waiting for the wreaker to pick me and my car up- I would never be caught in public in a such a mood! But guess what, I had MY car back by 4pm that same day!

So what would you like to get off your chest today? Why not join MckMama, me, and hundreds of others today as we Not Me Monday and let it all out!

Bling Bling Baby!!!

2009-07-02T12:44:00.000-05:00

So I left our children in the care of my darling husband for awhile yesterday to go do my two week grocery shopping, which you can imagine for a family of six, is a ~~chore~~ huge undertaking! When I returned home this is what I was met with.

Laineybug had ~~talked daddy into~~ thrown a huge fit in the middle of a store so daddy would buy her this lovely jewlery set! She was all decked out in her blinging new earings, necklace, bracelet, and ring. She was so excited to tell me all about it, she could barely get her words out fast enough. And you can bet it all stayed on untill right before bedtime, and went right back on first thing this morning! Don't you just love her!

Month in Review- June

2009-07-01T09:29:00.000-05:00

Wow- half way through 2009 already, time really is flying by!!! June was sort of low key around here, but fabulous just the same. The kiddos finished off the school year with a bang! They each had class parties and field trips to various locations, D to Sea World, Z to the State Capitol, and S bowling. I don't recall ever having such exciting (or expensive or that matter), field trips as a child!

Here's a picture of Sheldon at his Jungle Jubilee party!

Delainey was entertaining (as always) at the 5th grade awards and graduation, which by the way, lasted waaaay longer than a two year olds attention span!

I stumbled upon Delainey napping in the recliner with Ginger one afternoon in the sunshine (don't mind the ~~slightly tatterted~~ worn out chair) that's a whole different story!

I am very excited about a new photography project I'm starting! I've been interested in it for awhile now, and have actually started taking the photographs for it this week. A few lucky friends will even get samples as I will need lots of "free" practice (and you don't even have to live near me to be a lucky recipient of this awesome photog project,) does that spark your interest? I will say that my children have been looking at me like I'm crazy when they see me taking some of the photos I've been taking! Although, they look at me like I'm crazy half of the time they see my fab Canon come out!

I hope you and yours had a fabulous June as well, and wish everyone a wonderful second half of 2009!

Not Me Monday

2009-06-28T21:40:00.008-05:00

So after a few weeks off, I'm very glad to be doing Not Me Monday again! Not that I have anything to get off my chest or anything ;)! Not Me Monday was started my MckMama, you can check out her wonderful blog http://www.mycharmingkids.net/, to find out what she, and everyone else is not doing on this glorious Monday!

I did not take full advantage of my mom being in town and let her do all the laundry and cooking while she was here! I do tell her everytime not to do it, and she does it anyway. It's nice to be loved!!!

I did not let my children stay up waaaaaay to late every night during the above mentioned visit from grandma. And I am not now paying the hefty price of that treat!

While getting a mani and pedi before leaving town last weekend I surely didn't think to myself that I should do this every week, because afterall, I should be entitled to such pampering all the time!

When I didn't get my way on something that I was really looking forward to, I surely didn't pout for two whole days (and of course, am not still pouting), and make my poor children wonder what in the world was wrong with their crazy mother!

Last week I did not break out in tears while getting Laineybug to bed for reasons that I really shouldn't be crying over, I didn't let my emotions get the best of me in a moment of weekness!!!

While driving to a car dealership with my sister so she could help me pick up one of our cars that was there for repairs, I surely did not drive right past the entrance, causing me to have circle the entire 3 block radius around the place to get back to the entrance! No, because that would make me completley scatter brained, and more sleep deprived than I could imagine!

Facebook did not and will never consume way more of my time than I would admit, because of all the people I've re-connected with though it! I have not been amazed and soooooo very happy to find some long lost friends and family too! Last week was not a very productive FB week!

So play along if you so dare, let it all out and get it off your chest, you'll feell much better, I promise!

Let It Go...

2009-06-28T21:35:00.001-05:00

So I'm not usually one to quickly admit my ~~faults~~ less than desirable traits, but it has become quite apparent in recent months that self inflicted torture seems to be one of them. Isn't that a trait you would like to have too? Okay, okay, not like physical torture, I am after all the one who can barely have blood drawn without passing out! But more like mental torture by pushing things to the limit, and not being able to leave well enough alone! And I seriously can't just let it go!!!

I'm the person who although I know very well the answer to a question I'm about to ask will be "no," will ask anyway, knowing very well that hearing "no" will not leave a good taste in my mouth (that couldn't possibly be where my two year old gets it from). But alas, I can't just not ask and let it go, that would be too easy! More times than not, I can't just drop something and let it go. I'm one of those, talk it through and work it out 'till I'm blue in the face kind of gals, even if in the end I'm a crying mess thinking to myself "I should have walked away five hours ago!" (Not that I have very many five hour conversations, but you know!)

Being a ~~people pleaser~~ drama hater I often don't say what I really want to say, because heaven forbid I upset or offend anyone. So I then keep it all bottled up inside, and the other party gets to think everything is perfectly fine and I'm great with being a doormat! Then of course I am upset with myself for not speaking my mind and for letting people off the hook so easily, while I am left an emotional wreck!

I expect more from people than I know they can give, and then get upset when they don't produce the results I'm waiting for, and then get mad for getting upset (I just can't win)! I'm the one who will relive a memory from decades ago (I'm still not sure why we can't erase certain memories) and also relive the emotion that came with it, good or bad...over and over and over...you get my point. I'm the one who will wait for that phone call I know will never come and still get upset that it doesn't come! That will wait for someone to change so I can let them back into my life, and continue to be disappointed time and time again, and allow the hurt to grow rather than cut all ties...I know, I know, people don't change (but when it's family, you still hold the hope that they will)!

Maybe someday, I hope it's soon, I'll learn to just let it go, and let it be! To not set myself up for letdown, to not put me in a position to get hurt, to not push something to the point of being more than it really is. I'd probably be much happier if I could just let allot of things go! But all in all "I don't regret it and I don't think it was just a waste of time," are words I still hold true to my heart!!! For as I've said before, in everything is a learning experience!

Change is Brewing

2009-06-24T15:09:00.004-05:00

Wow, I haven't written a blog in awhile! I've REALLY missed Not Me Monday's the past few weeks (not that I have anything to confess or anything ;))! I feel like I have a ton of stuff swirling around in my head right now just waiting to spill out, so much so, that I'm afraid it won't even make any sense once I step back and look at it all laid out on paper, so bear with me on this one!

Change. Everyone faces change, big or small at some time. Change can be good or bad, depending on how you face it. I'm not really sure yet if people can change, I am sure that people can change their way of thinking, and their way's of believing. This year has thrown lots of change in my direction, and lots more to come. Some of it was very expected, some quite the opposite! Awhile back in a Not Me post, I wrote about being in denial about God answering a prayer I had been praying about for years, just because He wasn't answering it the way I was praying for it to be answered (as if I'm the one in control). Well, since things weren't going the way I thought they should be going, I was ready to write the WHOLE situation off, throw my hands up in the air, turn around and walk away, never to look back...funny how things work! Less than 24 hours later (I am not kidding!) the situation was literally dropped right back in my lap! I suppose walking away from this situation was not the change I need right now! And I have since tried to walk away once more, only to have it dropped right back in my lap once again! Apparently we are not as in control of the change that happens in our lives as we want to be (although, I already knew that).

I have recently made an unexpected change in one of my ways of thinking which was completely shocking to even myself! Not a huge change I suppose, but still, rather ground breaking you could say. I stepped outside of my comfort zone if you will for a moment to try something I had never tried before, and honestly never thought I would. ( NO it wasn't illegal, no, I'm not going to say here what it was). I guess the biggest thing I got out it was, don't judge a book but it's cover...cliche, I know!

The biggest change is yet to come later this year. It is a life changing change (no, I'm not having a baby, heaven help me if I was!), but until our entire family is made fully aware of what is, I'm not at liberty to post just yet what it is. But, we are expecting it, we are preparing for it, and we are excited about it! It's a change that I'm looking to with optimism, and hope!

Summer Treats!

2009-06-12T06:47:00.005-05:00

I scream...

You scream

We all scream

for

Ice cream!

Happiness Lies in the Hands of the Beholder

2009-06-10T06:44:00.004-05:00

I wrote a blog at the start of this new year (not here, on another site which I'm not going to link to, just yet), but I will tell you that it was about striving to be content with all aspects of my life. It's really been lingering on my mind lately and this morning I forced myself to go and re- read it. I'm not saying that I'm not content with my life, because really I am, just that I want to start having less of the days were I let the negative creep into my thoughts, to try and turn it around and put a positive spin on whatever it may be...to be content with whatever it may be! To not live in the past or the future, but be 100% content with today!

As I read my "contentment" blog this morning, feeling a little deflated anyway, it somehow triggered more thoughts about happiness rather than contentment. I guess that the two do go hand in hand, or maybe my focus should currently be on happiness rather than being content, that maybe there is a bigger difference between the two than I realize! Most people that really know me would probably say I'm a very happy person for the most part, which is true. I try to be a positive person and keep everyone happy...maybe to happy! I'm starting to wonder if I focus to much on keeping everyone else happy rather than really going for the things that make me truly happy? Not that I would ever wish for anyone I know to be unhappy, but that maybe I should not worry so much about how what I say or do will make THEM happy, but rather does it make ME happy? Is that selfish?

Just yesterday, I was faced with a situation that brought up a variety of different thoughts and feelings about a situation. I of course reacted, but in hindsight, didn't really react the way I would have liked to. Why not? Because had I reacted the way I wanted to, or with the words I wanted to, someone may not have been very happy with what I had to say! And heaven forbid I make anyone unhappy with me!

But why should I be worried about it, if it would make me happy to say or do what I really want to, then shouldn't that be what I do? Regardless of what whoever happens to be on the unhappy side thinks? I wish it was that easy, but for me it's not! I'll admit that I probably do care too much about what others think, and how they feel, sometimes even more than worrying about how I feel or think! I do though try and take every opportunity I can to walk away from things with the fact that I have learned something from it, and that from it I will grow. Although, not always obvious at the time, I can usually in hindsight look back and see how I grew from each situation faced with. So maybe I need to start putting the "happiness" focus more on myself rather than others. Don't worry so much about whether what I'm doing or saying is making them happy, but rather, is it making me happy? After all, maybe if I'm truly happy, it will have a ripple effect and those around me will be happy too!

Month in Review- May

2009-06-08T05:55:00.009-05:00

Laineybug had her first trip to the dentist, and did quite well!

Waiting for x-rays. See that dark spot on my lip, yeah, that's from her head butting me twice in the same spot a few days earlier...lovely!

We of course played a night of adult only Rock Band!

Laineybug decided it would be a good idea to break a bunch of eggs in the garage, I of course, took it as a photo op!

We helped my dear friends daughter, Jay, celebrate her sweet sixteen!

D & Z playing a round of mini golf at the party.

Laineybug and friends playing golf.

And who could let such pretty table decor go to waste! The shirt is a whole nother story!!

Laineybug talked her way into an early cupcake from before Jay's party while we were making them the night before! Who could say no to that face!

Of course, Sheldon had to have one too!

Sheldon had his Kindergarden graduation.

He spotted me in the crowd.

Zack and Stace ran the 2009 Beach 2 Bay on Armed Forces Day. It was an early morning (started for me at about 4:40am), but it was a blast! Here's Stace getting ready to hand off the batton at the end of leg 3. The squadron team place in the top half for the military division!

The sunrise that morning at Bob Hall Pier where Zack started off on leg 1.

Zack getting ready. He ran on the LJE boys team one, they took FIRST place in elementary boys, breaking an 11 year winning streak by our rival school! They rocked!! They were also in the top 6% overall!

...Now to see what June has in store!

2009-06-01T13:12:00.005-05:00

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

This week I certainly did not rush out the door as soon as my husband got home, three evenings in a row, to go to the gym because I needed a break so bad! I always make sure to spend some quality time with him before dropping everything and running to the driveway!

I did not give in to my 2 year old and let her sleep in my bed 3 nights because I was so tired I couldn't keep my eyes open long enough to go through the fight of keeping her in her bed!

I did not let my housework go for so long that I looked around one morning and questioned if I was in the right house or not...my house would never have that many toys scattered around, or that many piles of laundry in the guest room!

I did not panic at the reality of my income being cut in half in the next few weeks, because I know that God already has it all worked out for me, without me stressing over it!

I did not get so frustrated over my weight loss efforts not meeting my standards that I ate a whole row of sugar free oreos all at one time, while pouting!

Month in Review- April 2009

2009-05-12T09:02:00.007-05:00

I picked up a new hobby...just kidding!

Our sweet, sweet princess!

The kids enjoyed a festival at a local credit union, celebrating childrens credit union week (who knew there was such a thing!)

We went to the South Texas Shoot-out for the third year and enjoyed the Blue Angels again! It was lots of fun, but I could have done without the flight line being so darn HOT!!

Amazing aren't they?

Sheldon told me that he wants to be a Navy pilot when he grows up, I told him I think that would be awesome!

The Easter bunny left a rather large ammount of eggs scattered around our yard this year!

Zack ran the Arise and Run, his first 5K, with running club. He did great!

Sheldon, Delainey and I attended a ladybug release at the botanical gardens. It was AMAZING, thousands of ladybugs everywhere...the kids loved it!!! Way cool!

You wouldn't believe how many ladybugs came out of this bag!

We met the Easter Bunny at the command Easter egg hunt...went well, don't you think? *sigh* Oh well, maybe next year will be the award winning picture!

Not Me Monday!

2009-05-11T13:05:00.003-05:00

So with MckMama settled back in at home in the Thawed Tundra, and doing Not Me Monday again, I figured I might as well join her! You can visit her and her sweet family here MckMama. And you can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

As for me and what I have not been doing this past week, well...

I didn't stay up way to late on my girls weekend last weekend, who would stay up until 5:30am with girlfriends, not me, that's insane! And on said trip, I did not laugh so hard I cried more times than I can count!

Last week while standing in line at the grocery store, I did not pick up a smutty magazine and slip it in amongst my groceries to catch up on the celeb gossip, I would never do that, such a waste of money!

When our school district announced on Monday that school was canceled for the next 10days due to the swine flu, I did not think it was a cruel joke someone was playing on me...after all, I love spending extra time with my children. And when 2 days latter they announced they were re-opening 7 days early, I did not jump for joy!

On Wednesday, I didn't back out of going to the gym because I was still sooo tired from my girls weekend (yes, days latter...still tired), that I thought if I went to the gym, I would literally pass out from exhaustion and would be very embarrassed being carried out by paramedics because I was too tired to walk out myself.

Last week I did not question whether God was answering a prayer I have been praying for years, who would question God after all? And I'm not in denial that this is really God answering my prayer, just because it's not happening exactly the way I prayed for, or in the manner which I prayed for! Didn't question it or stay in a state of denial at all!

Now that I have that all off my chest, *sigh of relief* I feel much better! Who can't use a dose of brutal reality...Not Me!

Do Not Drink and Read...

2009-05-11T07:15:00.005-05:00

I often find myself wondering "why me" when it comes to some of the antics my sweet children pull around here! I really was a mild mannered, well behaved child, so I'm not sure exactly what I'm being paid back for from my childhood (it's been talked about that maybe it's meant for my husband, but he's not the stay at home parent that actually gets to witness it all). Now, once I hit high school, I sadly can't say the same thing, and am well aware that once my own offspring reach those lovely teenage years, I better hold on and brace myself ( I might want to warn my hubby about that too!)

Looking into their baby blue eyes surrounded by those sweet faces, you would never guess some of the trouble they can stir up, I myself find it hard not to smile and start laughing more often than not, once I see their face staring up at me...which does not help relay your message of seriousness as a parent! What exactly could they possibly do you ask? Well, how about the time my sweet baby boy peed in my fridge one afternoon? Yes, you read that correctly...peed in my fridge! Apparently, he was sleep walking while napping in the playroom, my hubby and I were sitting in the living room and he asked me "do you hear water running?", I got up to go see what he had heard. Upon entering my kitchen and not believing my eyes, I began to laugh so hard that I could not even stand up, and being quite pregnant, almost peed on the spot myself! What I saw was my little son standing in front of the fridge, door wide open, pants around ankles, aiming a stream of urine straight at the bottom of my new fridge! I could not contain the stream of tears running down my face from laughing so hard! My son finished his business, pulled up his pants, and returned to the playroom. It was quite apparent by the dazed, blank stare on his face that he had no idea what was going on! So, me, my bottle of Clorox spray and roll of paper towels got to work! I won't even go into the time he decorated the ENTIRE living room with an orange crayon, furniture and all!

I'll admit that he's the mild mannered one of the bunch most days, my sweet princess on the other hand, well, she has trouble written all over her beautiful face! She's the one that has had me picking up frozen broccoli all over the house from her "cook it", covered several of the window panes on the back door with mud, climbed the outside of our stairs and pulled her body through to the other side leaving her head stuck in the railings, and most recently smashed several eggs in the garage and tried to set our home ablaze! Yes, ablaze! (And this all in two short years!)

Last week she decided to try and cook some shoes for herself. By the grace of God, I was very near her when this happened and was able to save us all! Like most days, she decided to empty my cabinets for me in the kitchen. She had plastic bowls and such strewn all across the house, she had my rice cooker out and she pulled the toaster out as well. The toaster is where we find the trouble for the day! Laineybug decided to go and find her little fluffy, white, bling bling, house shoes that my mother got her for Christmas (no more of those mom). And hey, look, I have two shoes, and the toaster has two slots on it...must be to put my shoes in! (Or at least that's what I'm going to assume her thought process was on this one!) Now, normally, I wouldn't freak out about her playing with the toaster because I keep all of our outlets covered, so I giggled about what she was doing and continued on with my business in the kitchen.

A few moments latter, Sheldon came into the room and began to observe what his baby sister was doing... at least he told me he was just watching! Within seconds I realize that I smell smoke. I look up and see my two youngest children huddled by the back door, starring into my toaster ( need I remind you what's in the toaster at the moment). After losing my train of though for a split second, I come to my senses and notice that, "OMG, it's plugged in!" I run over and quickly yank the cord out of the wall, yelling some things that I won't repeat at the moment, daringly reach into each slot of the toaster and pull out two, smoking, melting, fluffy white house shoes! All the while, my small children look at me with a blank stare!

I could not believe what had just occured! See, we had a visitor earlier that day who had used the outlet, which is why it was left uncovered, not that I put blame their, I should have checked it. And so of course, my children seized this rare opportunity and plugged in the small appliance, and naturally turned it on to toast some house shoes for an afternoon snack! Laineybug later said of the melted shoes," I broke shoes, buy more at store" as she threw them into the trash can!

Yes, it's in the many moments like this that I ask myself "what did I ever do to deserve this?" And of course, I smile and think, I wouldn't have it any other way!

P.S. I warned you in the title not to drink while reading this, so if you now have a drink spit out on your monitor, I hold no blame ;)

Don't Cry Over Spilled...Everything!

2009-04-09T08:02:00.003-05:00

If I were to cry over spills around here, I would drown in my own tears! My spirited little girl, surrounded by older children, of course wants to drink out of a "big girl" cup. Just like her older siblings do! She often follows me to the cup cabinet, after asking for a drink, in order to make sure that she makes it clear to me that she wants "dat one!" As she points upwards to a specific cup, never the sippy cup that I'm grabbing for, she is quick to tell me "no, dat one!" We go through this a few times as I try to coax her into a lovely, spill proof sippy, which she will have none of! After several failed attempts to change her mind, I oblige, not wanting to hinder her from being the big girl she wants to be. When I finally grab a small "big" cup, she smiles and tells me "mmmhhh, dat one!" Mommy's such a sucker for a cute face!

As I put a tiny amount of her drink of choice into the cup, I tell her "don't spill it, it will be all gone!" Ha, I laugh at myself! Like looking into a crystal ball, I know that soon, I'll be cleaning it up off the floor! Sure enough, within minutes I'm on my knees, bottle of cleaner and paper towels in hand, wiping up the sticky mess. *SIGH* What's a mom to do? I try not to think about the fact that this is the third spill I've cleaned up so far today, or the fact that I was asking for it by not giving her a lid, or that I wish I had someone to clean up after me. I instead think about how thankful I am that God gave me this small child to raise, how she's growing up so fast and someday won't need me to clean up after her, that for her, this is part of a learning experience.

As we approach this Easter weekend, it reminds me of how God gave his Son to clean up after us all! That no mess I ever have to clean up, will compare to the mess Jesus cleaned up when gave his life on the cross for you and me! And that I continue to be covered in grace, as I'm sure to continue making messes. So, as I clean it up, I try to breathe and remind myself that this is the only time she'll be little, and cleaning up this tiny mess is just a small part the blessing God gave me in this small child!

"For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believes in him, should not perish but have everlasting life." John 3:16

"Her children rise up and bless her." Proverbs 31:28

Month in Review- March

2009-04-02T08:15:00.013-05:00

I figured this would the best way to wrap up the month of March 2009 in our household! As always, it was busy and full of fun, excitement, laughter, tears, blessings, and of course a fit or two each day!

We started the month out with Zack's 10th birthday

Laineybug had her first trip to the ice cream truck! As you can see, she REALLY enjoyed her Power Puff Girls Ice cream!

Before school let out for spring break, we had chilifest! It's the annual school chili cook off, and family picnic. It was cold and rainy, so we ended up picnicking in the school.

Technobug-Laineybug discovered Mp3 players! I couldn't keep from laughing when she emerged from the playroom with a beanie on and earphones in her ears, dancing and singing to the music!

A rare moment captured in time!

And lastly, Sheldon and Delainey took a quick morning trip to the always loved, duck pond! Luckily, this time Delainey managed to avoid being bitten by a goose, however, she did make sure I remembered that they did indeed "bite you," last time we were there, and of course when she says "you," she means "me" lol!

So that was March for us! April is sure to be just as great!

Not Me Monday, Stellan Style

2009-03-30T09:42:00.003-05:00

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

My heart goes out to this sweet family! If you don't know the whole story about baby Stellan, please go to his mommy's blog, it's an amazing story of heartbreak, hope, miracles, and awe inspiring faith in God! I wish there was something I could do for them, I'm praying of course, but yet, I still wish I could do more. So, in honor of Stellan....here's my "Not Me Monday!" Stellan Style!

I did not get pissed along with MckMama last week, or understand why she was so angry, no way, no how!

I did not question God why this is happening to this poor baby and his family.

I did not go through and read almost all of MckMama's posts from when they first found out baby Stellan was sick, after I learned about this sweet family a few weeks ago.

I do not tear up every time I read an update on baby Stellan.

My heart did not melt when I saw the picture of Stellan sleeping safely with his central line!

I did not love the pictures MckMama posted of her other MSC and what they've been up to.

I did not rack my brain trying to come up with an awesome way to spell Stellan for him.

I did not pray for this sweet baby every day.

I did not pray that MckMama continues to stand strong in her faith which has carried her this far.

I do not know that God can work a second miracle on Stellan's tiny heart in His own time!

Never a Dull Moment

2009-03-30T08:46:00.003-05:00

Sunday morning my husband was kind enough to let me sleep in while he took the kiddos downstairs with him. Although this was bliss for me, it turned out to be the opposite for him! After waking up and drifting back off several times, I awoke when he opened our bedroom door and said "Sheldon just threw up!" I groggily got up out of bed and headed downstairs a few minutes later...it's going to be a great day!

As I rounded the corner from the bottom step our youngest son looked at me and confirmed that he had indeed thrown up, and then said "I told you dad," followed by Delainey repeating "told you dad!" My poor husband was cleaning the floor under our kitchen table and the char in which Sheldon had been sitting. I, of course, questioned the whole situation a little confused.

The past few weeks Sheldon has been a little obsessed with his Nintendo DS, and apparently, as soon as he woke up Sunday, wanted to get right on it and play. When breakfast was ready, he was asked to put it down and come to the table to eat. He did, but as he was sitting there he started to complain that his stomach hurt and was not eating. His daddy told him that he wasn't going to play his DS or go to his friends house without eating breakfast! You see, Sheldon frequently rushes through things or doesn't finish them in order to get back to his DS sooner, so of course, daddy assumed this is why he wasn't eating!

Sheldon reluctantly continued to eat, all the while saying his stomach hurt, while daddy was telling him to finish, he didn't have that much to eat anyway. So, as Sheldon got down to the last bite or two, my husband got up to go and get something out of the fridge. When he turned to come back to the table, there was our son, his breakfast reemerging!

My poor husband was instantly struck with guilt...his stomach really did hurt! And of course, Sheldon said "I told you dad," making him feel even worse, and left the table to go pick up his DS. He felt the guilt, that I've felt many times, of not believing that your child is sick when they really are. They say it so often that it's sometimes hard to know if they are telling the truth or not, like just a few weeks ago when I told Sheldon that the doctor better find something wrong with the ear that he said hurt, after all, I had to take 4 kids with me just to go to the doctor, and he did not appear sick at all, bouncing around the room and what not. Of course, he did have and ear infection, and I felt about 2 inches tall!

So, in our never a dull moment household, we ended the weekend with a case of the stomach bug, which I'm now praying off of the rest of us! And my poor husband now shares a spot with me in the guilt ridden parent hall of fame!

When do you pray?

2009-03-27T06:19:00.003-05:00

My husband has asked me on several occasions, "when do you pray?" My answer is always short and sweet, "everyday, all day!" You see, as a stay home mom of 4 children, and a home daycare owner with 3 children that I care for daily, I couldn't make it through each day without praying! My days start long before the sun even thinks about shining and end long after the moon has reclaimed it's spot in the night sky. So prayer is often what gives me the stamina to sustain my long days. Sadly, it's not often down on my knees praying that I know it should be, it's throwing out one or two line prayers to God every few hours...or sometimes every few minutes!

My first prayer of the day is usually as I'm rolling out of bed at 5:30 am, "please God, get me through this day!" The next is usually not too far behind when it's time to wake my kindergartner up, he's the one that on most mornings thinks the best way to start the day is with a little fit! He will whine and cry, telling me how boring school is, and how much he misses me, that's is so unfair he has to go, and on and on. I then find myself praying for God to give me patience with my son, as for some reason he fails to understand I still have about 40 more things to do before we leave the house! Throughout the course the my day my prayers continue for fairly common things, praying for discernment, more patience (that pretty much and all day prayer), energy, time management skills, for my family and things like that.

Lately though I have found that my recent daily prayer is for change. I've been asking God to change me, for I know He's the only one who can! To change me into the daughter He wants me to be too Him, to change me into the wife He wants me to be to my husband, into the mother He wants me to be, into the person He intends for me to be. This prayer is fairly new to me and I'm excited to see where it takes me, for I know with God in the lead, it will take me through some awesome changes!

So, yes, I really do pray all day, everyday! It's one of the things that sustain me and keeps me grounded...how about you, when do you pray?

Pete or Repete?

2009-03-26T06:21:00.004-05:00

Remember that joke you hated when you were a child...who was left in the boat, Pete or Repete? And inevitably every time you fell for it, saying that "Repete" was the one left, of course starting the entire joke over again! Well, living in my home right now is sort of like being stuck on that boat, only Pete is not an option, Repete is the lone sailor!

You see, Laineybug is quite the chatter box these days. And that's putting it mildly! I laugh now when I think back to just a few short months ago when her daddy would ask me almost daily, "when is she going to start talking to me?" He was concerned because Sheldon was such an early talker, that he expected the same from her as well. I told him often that she would get it, and he would then be asking, when is she going to stop?

Well, that day has come! Riding in the car this weekend, with her right behind daddy, he looked over at me and said " I don't think I can do this all the way to Florida!" He was referring to our trip to Disney this Fall, which we are driving too! She sat behind him chatting all the way around town, often non-stop, demanding to be talked back too. God most definitely has given our sweet daughter the gift of gab! She on average repeats everything she says 3 times before she stops saying it, such as, " daddy drive car, daddy drive car, daddy drive car?" And sometimes, even once you tell her, "yes, daddy drive car," you get to hear her version a time or two more. And if you don't confirm what she is telling you, then yes, you are sure to hear it again until you do!

I often take a deep breath and laugh as she is talking to me...she looks at me with her big blue eyes, and beautiful smile, chattering away, repeating everything as she goes, waiting for me to repeat it back. I still don't understand everything that comes out of her sweet mouth, which to her, brings a new level of frustration. When that occurs, she makes sure our conversation is not finished until I clearly understand what she's trying to tell me, and I of course repeat it back to her!

So, yes indeed, Laineybug has more than made up for her slightly delayed verbal skills. I often remind my husband when she's talking his ear off, " remember when you used to worry about that not happening?" Well, she's talking now, and it's time to sit and cherish every moment of it, for before we know it, she won't want to talk to us all day, she'll be busy with friends and life, and all we'll get is a few quick words now and then!

That's what having kids does to you!

2009-03-25T15:11:00.002-05:00

My husband laughed and told me, "that was a good one," when I told him one of our children's fish went crazy from having babies. I on the other hand, didn't laugh, as I was serious...well, sort of anyway! You see, a few weeks ago he and I saw the rare event of actually watching one of the fish in our kitchen give birth to 4 tiny fish, that in itself was shocking to me as I've always thought fish lay eggs, hence caviar being fish eggs, but anyway, we sat amazed and watched the miracle of child, I mean, fish birth!

A few days later we noticed that the mommy fish was not doing so well, swimming erratically, floating upside down, strange things like that. After this continued for several days my husband decided that something must be wrong with her brain from having babies. This is when I told him that, yes, having children kills your brain, which explains why I no longer have a memory when I need it, I told him that having babies sucks the life out of you, they steal your brain, they make you so tired you can't see straight, or swim straight, and that yes, having the baby fish made her crazy! He thought this was quite comical.

Sadly, after swimming upside down and keeping us all glued to the aquarium with watchful eyes for several weeks, our mommy fish passed away yesterday. Luckily though, even though my children have stolen my brain, keep me so tired I don't know what day it is, and plain run me ragged...I am still here to love every minute of it, and would gladly give up my brain, and sleep for them any day!