Wardrobe Change...or is it Life Change?

So something new has been occurring recently in our home with Laineybug. Shortly before she turned three a few days ago she began starting this thing where, A- she only wants to wear a dress (even though it's freezing here most days), and B- she want's to change dresses every two hours throughout the day! You can imagine what my laundry room has looked like lately. It sure made birthday shopping easy this year, dresses of course made up the majority of her gifts, one's with sweater's at that to try and prevent her from freezing her arms off!

I have to admit that it does get frustrating, and I have tried to get her to stop this annoying little habit. But, I know that this too will pass and I'll soon be looking back and missing these days. In the midst of helping her with her fourth wardrobe change of the day earlier this week, I started to think about something deeper. I thought about how easy it is for my daughter to drop everything and change in and instant, carefree, making sure that each day she wears every dress she wants to wear. It made me envious in a way, not about actually changing clothes over and over, because yes I could do that if I really wanted to, but changing to ensure you are the person you want to be. Or changing day to day to live the part of your life you want to live. 

I think we would all admit that we have things in life we would love to live out, but do not want to make the change to make it possible. Someone once told me "I think that everyone lives four or five different lives." I now have a deeper understanding of what they meant and my own thoughts on it as well. Is that we are just to afraid to change into the one person we want to be, so we live different lives around different people? Is it the fear we have of the way some will look at us if they know how we live one side of our life, so we only live another side of our life around them? Maybe it's that we are so wrapped in our self, that we fail to see that the ones closest to us are living separate lives without us, but yet do not want to make the change to fix it once we do realize it.

In any case, I will try to be more open to change. It's something that I have been struggling with lately, but that's a whole 'nother post! In the meantime, I will indulge my sweet daughter's obsession with changing dresses more times a day than I count. And I will also need to buy more laundry detergent to wash them all!

Flawless.....Not so Much!

I'm the first to admit that I am a big Beyonce fan. I think she is beautiful in every sense of the word- vocally, in physical appearance, and in personality. I love her voice, the sound of her singing Halo, live, will stop me in my tracks. In the past I have had words of her music sprawled across my Facebook page, playing on my Myspace page, and yes indeed, Halo is one of my favorite ring tone's on my iphone. But I've discovered that there are some lesser known songs by Beyonce out there that grab a hold of me and put me a place that few others do. Like the song that Ellen said was her very favorite when Beyonce was on her show. It one that I had never heard of before for some reason until that day, and she sang it live on Ellen's show. The song titled Flaws and All. "I don't know why you love me, and that's why I love you, you catch me when I fall, you accept me, flaws and all..." Now at the time, all I did was sit listen to the beautiful sound emitting from the t.v. But as I thought about the song over the next few weeks, and looked up the words, as I often do for way too many songs every song I hear that I like, the words began to cycle through my head.

Perfect is something that I am far from, never have claimed to be, never will. In fact, I am hugely flawed and imperfect. Most of the time I accept my flaw's and move on, after all, I was created flawed in His image, and those flaw's are a part of what makes me "me." But sometimes I really start to look at my flaw's and question them. Are they just flaw's or are they my flaw's for a reason? Are my flaw's there to show me the change I need to make within myself, or to try and drive me closer to someone that I should be? Are the purpose of my flaw's to mold me into the person I'm meant to be, should I not fight my flaw's so much, but rather succumb to them once in awhile? Or perhaps are my flaw's meant to open my eyes to the person I'm capable of becoming, but don't want to become, because maybe that person is not the best person to be. 

I struggle with some flaws more than other ones, maybe due to the way a particular flaw makes me feel about myself, or maybe for fear of the way others would view me if they truly knew all of my flaw's. Let's be honest, most people don't really like to be very open about the flaw's they possess. After all, as beautiful as Beyonce's song is, it is a rare thing for someone to love and accept us flaw's and all.  So as I try to come to terms with, and accept my flaw's for what they are, I've stopped trying to wish and pray some of them away, for perhaps those flaw's are in me for a reason that I am not meant to understand. And yes even the one's that I bury deep down in shame, after all I am what I am, flaw's and all.