Not Me Monday

So after a few weeks off, I'm very glad to be doing Not Me Monday again! Not that I have anything to get off my chest or anything ;)! Not Me Monday was started my MckMama, you can check out her wonderful blog http://www.mycharmingkids.net/, to find out what she, and everyone else is not doing on this glorious Monday!

I did not take full advantage of my mom being in town and let her do all the laundry and cooking while she was here! I do tell her everytime not to do it, and she does it anyway. It's nice to be loved!!!

I did not let my children stay up waaaaaay to late every night during the above mentioned visit from grandma. And I am not now paying the hefty price of that treat!

While getting a mani and pedi before leaving town last weekend I surely didn't think to myself that I should do this every week, because afterall, I should be entitled to such pampering all the time!

When I didn't get my way on something that I was really looking forward to, I surely didn't pout for two whole days (and of course, am not still pouting), and make my poor children wonder what in the world was wrong with their crazy mother!

Last week I did not break out in tears while getting Laineybug to bed for reasons that I really shouldn't be crying over, I didn't let my emotions get the best of me in a moment of weekness!!!

While driving to a car dealership with my sister so she could help me pick up one of our cars that was there for repairs, I surely did not drive right past the entrance, causing me to have circle the entire 3 block radius around the place to get back to the entrance! No, because that would make me completley scatter brained, and more sleep deprived than I could imagine!

Facebook did not and will never consume way more of my time than I would admit, because of all the people I've re-connected with though it! I have not been amazed and soooooo very happy to find some long lost friends and family too! Last week was not a very productive FB week!

So play along if you so dare, let it all out and get it off your chest, you'll feell much better, I promise!

Let It Go...

So I'm not usually one to quickly admit my faults less than desirable traits, but it has become quite apparent in recent months that self inflicted torture seems to be one of them. Isn't that a trait you would like to have too? Okay, okay, not like physical torture, I am after all the one who can barely have blood drawn without passing out! But more like mental torture by pushing things to the limit, and not being able to leave well enough alone! And I seriously can't just let it go!!!


I'm the person who although I know very well the answer to a question I'm about to ask will be "no," will ask anyway, knowing very well that hearing "no" will not leave a good taste in my mouth (that couldn't possibly be where my two year old gets it from). But alas, I can't just not ask and let it go, that would be too easy! More times than not, I can't just drop something and let it go. I'm one of those, talk it through and work it out 'till I'm blue in the face kind of gals, even if in the end I'm a crying mess thinking to myself "I should have walked away five hours ago!" (Not that I have very many five hour conversations, but you know!)


Being a people pleaser drama hater I often don't say what I really want to say, because heaven forbid I upset or offend anyone. So I then keep it all bottled up inside, and the other party gets to think everything is perfectly fine and I'm great with being a doormat! Then of course I am upset with myself for not speaking my mind and for letting people off the hook so easily, while I am left an emotional wreck!


I expect more from people than I know they can give, and then get upset when they don't produce the results I'm waiting for, and then get mad for getting upset (I just can't win)! I'm the one who will relive a memory from decades ago (I'm still not sure why we can't erase certain memories) and also relive the emotion that came with it, good or bad...over and over and over...you get my point. I'm the one who will wait for that phone call I know will never come and still get upset that it doesn't come! That will wait for someone to change so I can let them back into my life, and continue to be disappointed time and time again, and allow the hurt to grow rather than cut all ties...I know, I know, people don't change (but when it's family, you still hold the hope that they will)!


Maybe someday, I hope it's soon, I'll learn to just let it go, and let it be! To not set myself up for letdown, to not put me in a position to get hurt, to not push something to the point of being more than it really is. I'd probably be much happier if I could just let allot of things go! But all in all "I don't regret it and I don't think it was just a waste of time," are words I still hold true to my heart!!! For as I've said before, in everything is a learning experience!

Change is Brewing

Wow, I haven't written a blog in awhile! I've REALLY missed Not Me Monday's the past few weeks (not that I have anything to confess or anything ;))! I feel like I have a ton of stuff swirling around in my head right now just waiting to spill out, so much so, that I'm afraid it won't even make any sense once I step back and look at it all laid out on paper, so bear with me on this one!

Change. Everyone faces change, big or small at some time. Change can be good or bad, depending on how you face it. I'm not really sure yet if people can change, I am sure that people can change their way of thinking, and their way's of believing. This year has thrown lots of change in my direction, and lots more to come. Some of it was very expected, some quite the opposite! Awhile back in a Not Me post, I wrote about being in denial about God answering a prayer I had been praying about for years, just because He wasn't answering it the way I was praying for it to be answered (as if I'm the one in control). Well, since things weren't going the way I thought they should be going, I was ready to write the WHOLE situation off, throw my hands up in the air, turn around and walk away, never to look back...funny how things work! Less than 24 hours later (I am not kidding!) the situation was literally dropped right back in my lap! I suppose walking away from this situation was not the change I need right now! And I have since tried to walk away once more, only to have it dropped right back in my lap once again! Apparently we are not as in control of the change that happens in our lives as we want to be (although, I already knew that).

I have recently made an unexpected change in one of my ways of thinking which was completely shocking to even myself! Not a huge change I suppose, but still, rather ground breaking you could say. I stepped outside of my comfort zone if you will for a moment to try something I had never tried before, and honestly never thought I would. ( NO it wasn't illegal, no, I'm not going to say here what it was). I guess the biggest thing I got out it was, don't judge a book but it's cover...cliche, I know!

The biggest change is yet to come later this year. It is a life changing change (no, I'm not having a baby, heaven help me if I was!), but until our entire family is made fully aware of what is, I'm not at liberty to post just yet what it is. But, we are expecting it, we are preparing for it, and we are excited about it! It's a change that I'm looking to with optimism, and hope!

Summer Treats!

I scream...




You scream




We all scream




for




Ice cream!

Happiness Lies in the Hands of the Beholder

I wrote a blog at the start of this new year (not here, on another site which I'm not going to link to, just yet), but I will tell you that it was about striving to be content with all aspects of my life. It's really been lingering on my mind lately and this morning I forced myself to go and re- read it. I'm not saying that I'm not content with my life, because really I am, just that I want to start having less of the days were I let the negative creep into my thoughts, to try and turn it around and put a positive spin on whatever it may be...to be content with whatever it may be! To not live in the past or the future, but be 100% content with today!

As I read my "contentment" blog this morning, feeling a little deflated anyway, it somehow triggered more thoughts about happiness rather than contentment. I guess that the two do go hand in hand, or maybe my focus should currently be on happiness rather than being content, that maybe there is a bigger difference between the two than I realize! Most people that really know me would probably say I'm a very happy person for the most part, which is true. I try to be a positive person and keep everyone happy...maybe to happy! I'm starting to wonder if I focus to much on keeping everyone else happy rather than really going for the things that make me truly happy? Not that I would ever wish for anyone I know to be unhappy, but that maybe I should not worry so much about how what I say or do will make THEM happy, but rather does it make ME happy? Is that selfish?

Just yesterday, I was faced with a situation that brought up a variety of different thoughts and feelings about a situation. I of course reacted, but in hindsight, didn't really react the way I would have liked to. Why not? Because had I reacted the way I wanted to, or with the words I wanted to, someone may not have been very happy with what I had to say! And heaven forbid I make anyone unhappy with me!

But why should I be worried about it, if it would make me happy to say or do what I really want to, then shouldn't that be what I do? Regardless of what whoever happens to be on the unhappy side thinks? I wish it was that easy, but for me it's not! I'll admit that I probably do care too much about what others think, and how they feel, sometimes even more than worrying about how I feel or think! I do though try and take every opportunity I can to walk away from things with the fact that I have learned something from it, and that from it I will grow. Although, not always obvious at the time, I can usually in hindsight look back and see how I grew from each situation faced with. So maybe I need to start putting the "happiness" focus more on myself rather than others. Don't worry so much about whether what I'm doing or saying is making them happy, but rather, is it making me happy? After all, maybe if I'm truly happy, it will have a ripple effect and those around me will be happy too!

Month in Review- May

Laineybug had her first trip to the dentist, and did quite well!


Waiting for x-rays. See that dark spot on my lip, yeah, that's from her head butting me twice in the same spot a few days earlier...lovely!


We of course played a night of adult only Rock Band!


Laineybug decided it would be a good idea to break a bunch of eggs in the garage, I of course, took it as a photo op!


We helped my dear friends daughter, Jay, celebrate her sweet sixteen!


D & Z playing a round of mini golf at the party.


Laineybug and friends playing golf.


And who could let such pretty table decor go to waste! The shirt is a whole nother story!!


Laineybug talked her way into an early cupcake from before Jay's party while we were making them the night before! Who could say no to that face!


Of course, Sheldon had to have one too!


Sheldon had his Kindergarden graduation.


He spotted me in the crowd.

Zack and Stace ran the 2009 Beach 2 Bay on Armed Forces Day. It was an early morning (started for me at about 4:40am), but it was a blast! Here's Stace getting ready to hand off the batton at the end of leg 3. The squadron team place in the top half for the military division!


The sunrise that morning at Bob Hall Pier where Zack started off on leg 1.


Zack getting ready. He ran on the LJE boys team one, they took FIRST place in elementary boys, breaking an 11 year winning streak by our rival school! They rocked!! They were also in the top 6% overall!


...Now to see what June has in store!

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

This week I certainly did not rush out the door as soon as my husband got home, three evenings in a row, to go to the gym because I needed a break so bad! I always make sure to spend some quality time with him before dropping everything and running to the driveway!

I did not give in to my 2 year old and let her sleep in my bed 3 nights because I was so tired I couldn't keep my eyes open long enough to go through the fight of keeping her in her bed!

I did not let my housework go for so long that I looked around one morning and questioned if I was in the right house or not...my house would never have that many toys scattered around, or that many piles of laundry in the guest room!

I did not panic at the reality of my income being cut in half in the next few weeks, because I know that God already has it all worked out for me, without me stressing over it!

I did not get so frustrated over my weight loss efforts not meeting my standards that I ate a whole row of sugar free oreos all at one time, while pouting!