Happiness Lies in the Hands of the Beholder

I wrote a blog at the start of this new year (not here, on another site which I'm not going to link to, just yet), but I will tell you that it was about striving to be content with all aspects of my life. It's really been lingering on my mind lately and this morning I forced myself to go and re- read it. I'm not saying that I'm not content with my life, because really I am, just that I want to start having less of the days were I let the negative creep into my thoughts, to try and turn it around and put a positive spin on whatever it may be...to be content with whatever it may be! To not live in the past or the future, but be 100% content with today!

As I read my "contentment" blog this morning, feeling a little deflated anyway, it somehow triggered more thoughts about happiness rather than contentment. I guess that the two do go hand in hand, or maybe my focus should currently be on happiness rather than being content, that maybe there is a bigger difference between the two than I realize! Most people that really know me would probably say I'm a very happy person for the most part, which is true. I try to be a positive person and keep everyone happy...maybe to happy! I'm starting to wonder if I focus to much on keeping everyone else happy rather than really going for the things that make me truly happy? Not that I would ever wish for anyone I know to be unhappy, but that maybe I should not worry so much about how what I say or do will make THEM happy, but rather does it make ME happy? Is that selfish?

Just yesterday, I was faced with a situation that brought up a variety of different thoughts and feelings about a situation. I of course reacted, but in hindsight, didn't really react the way I would have liked to. Why not? Because had I reacted the way I wanted to, or with the words I wanted to, someone may not have been very happy with what I had to say! And heaven forbid I make anyone unhappy with me!

But why should I be worried about it, if it would make me happy to say or do what I really want to, then shouldn't that be what I do? Regardless of what whoever happens to be on the unhappy side thinks? I wish it was that easy, but for me it's not! I'll admit that I probably do care too much about what others think, and how they feel, sometimes even more than worrying about how I feel or think! I do though try and take every opportunity I can to walk away from things with the fact that I have learned something from it, and that from it I will grow. Although, not always obvious at the time, I can usually in hindsight look back and see how I grew from each situation faced with. So maybe I need to start putting the "happiness" focus more on myself rather than others. Don't worry so much about whether what I'm doing or saying is making them happy, but rather, is it making me happy? After all, maybe if I'm truly happy, it will have a ripple effect and those around me will be happy too!